From the recording My Darkest Hour
Have U ever typed 'I'm ok' with your eyes,
Full of tears...
Hurt so badly all you wanna do is,
Ask so badly why,
Do I just want to die ???
I had a friend tell me to write about something I did that was wrong and so here it is written in this song.
My Darkest Hour
I'm frozen in time, I want to escape this mind, I'm getting colder,
Time moves so much faster now,
I'm so much older.
I just wanna know how i got so far behind, How the hell have I been this blind,
Been doin this work n grind,
One to many time, anyway,
It's dark out, around 2am,
I'm hurtin it up the highway im hitting 210.
Hoping that I lose control and slam into a wall,
Feelings so heavy, the police will need to be called,
There's gonna be pieces of plenty,
I've tried to call every number in my phone,
Yet not one person will pick up and I know right now I shouldn't be on my own,
I'm hurting real bad and I don't wanna be,
It's been a really tough week, ya see.
It's been non stop, rinse and repeat,
So I have a moment where everything came crashing down,
And this time it made me wanna not fuck around,
It's all to much bare.. I've had enough,
I no longer cared, I just needed someone to talk to,
Oh well fuck it I said, I tried callin you.
I just hope that come morning,
That the fatality that your gonna hear about me isn't true,
I'm at a crossroad and I don't know which way to choose,
Right now I'm being tested, im not at my best, I hope I don't live and get arrested, I'm so wasted, Intoxicated,
I'm drunk, I'm Blue and I honestly at this point have no clue...
This fucken life of mine just cannot be true.
The demons I had inside,
Is what kept me up that night asking myself why,
Hopelessly hoping those feelings would subside, As I try to die...
Contemplating my suicide...
With my last thoughts being...
I shouldn't exist, I shouldn't be alive.
Why do I always choose this way,
When shit in my life gets to Cray, Cray,
Somewhere, Someone out there thinks of you every day, And if this is true,
Then why am I so broken, hey!
This is my darkest hour,
All of my buildings have collapsed,
It's no longer a tower.
I wish I was at home crying in my shower,
I have no more strength, No more power.
Coz this right here is my darkest fucken hour.
Then like high beams on at midnight,
A wave of light hit me so god damn bright.
My guardian came to me with all his might,
And showed me how to make things right.
I am needed in this world,
And so is each and every one of you,
Stay positive, Stay strong and get enough rest, Or so they say,
You can't do it all but you can do your best,
Stay on the path that makes you feel great,
Get plenty of rest,
I understand it's easier said than done,
This is something that's taken me years to overcome,
I just hated feeling that numb,
And how fuckin hard things get when your finally done,
It's such a shame we lose good kind souls, that we add to a list a mile long,
And with that this may sound wrong.
But what human do you know that actually, would help another human carry on,
Yet somehow were expected to just soldier on,
I dunno where your from but not everyone is raised that strong.
Speeding in this car...
It pains me that I'm still awake,
Driving so fast, shits flying past,
And here all I can think about is if this is my biggest mistake.
This is the biggest mess I've put myself in,
I dunno where to even begin,
Having to battle with this conscience in my head...
It's times like this I wish I were dead.
So my message is simple,
Be careful how you share ur light,
You never know someone else's may not be as bright.
So hold onto them right,
So they dont ever have to sit there alone, Trapped with there thoughts every single night,
Be good to people for no reason.
This earth of ours has four seasons,
The best apology is changed behaviour,
So i'll stand here with a hand out if ya need someone to help save ya.
You can't get what's in front of you.
Until you've let go of what's behind you,
Stay kind its what makes U beautiful,
You are magic so own that shit too.
I didn't crash my car.
And Im amazed that somehow I made it this far,
I was just lucky I was able to dig deep and find the power,
So I could now stand here, And tell everyone that... Believe in something and have Faith.
That even in your darkest hour,
You can still find the beauty in a single flower.